Kelsey is 4months!!

Oh me..where do I start? I guess I will start with Easter:
Kelseys first Easter was GREAT! She didnt get much from the Easter bunny, she really didnt need much lol. She wore a pretty blue dress with her flower headband, absolutely beautiful. We went to Justins families Easter first and then went to my mommas. All in all we had a great time :)Kelsey turns 4 months:Where has the time gone? I cant believe my baby girl is getting so big so quick! I can say that I know that I will miss this time when she gets older but I can also say that I love seeing by baby girl growing and realizing there is a whole world out here with amazing things to play with. She now can "talk", smile, follow you with her eyes, plays with her hands, turns to the sound of momma and daddy voice, and much more. It is amazing how much my life has changed but I wouldnt trade it for anything in this world! Being a momma is amazing and I know that it will continue to be even during the rough parts.
Kelsey went to the doctor 4/16/13 for her 4 month check up and shots. Everything turned out great and they say she is a healthy 4 month old baby :)
Weight-13lbs 7oz. Head-15.9in Height-23.5in
I was scared that she would end up running a bad fever or not feeling great but she actually did pretty good, even though she did feel a little bad. I was also happy to be told that we could start her on cereal, baby food, and juice. So far she has tried bananas, apples, rice cereal, and pears baby food along with apple and orange juice. It took her a few tries with the rice cereal and apples but after tasting it a few times she loves them. She really loved the bananas and pears, especially the pears! I will starting on the veggies next and hopefully she will also like them!
We have also been going outside more, now that it is pretty outisde. Kelsey Brook seems to enjoy it but of course not for long. I am just glad that we are now able to go outside without freezing our butts off~! Well, thats pretty much everything for now!

3 months this month!!

I am sure every mother feels this way about their child, and for the ones who dont I feel so sorry for you, but I am absolutely mesmerized by my little angel. I never knew a love like this existed until I had Kelsey Brook. Do not get me wrong I love Justin and Brooklyn with all of my heart and I know that I would feel the exact same way for them if they were here and I wish they were here. Kelsey is just wonderful!! I am lucky enough to be able to be a stay at home momma even if I really should be working and helping out with hard times but I have a man who wants me to be able to stay at home with our little girl and I am thankful that I have someone like him so that I can be able too. Being able to be with Kelsey every second of the day is great! Yes, there are some times where she is fussy and nothing I do helps but instead of getting upset about her crying the whole time I get upset because I do not know whats wrong with my baby to make her feel better. Needless to say there have only been a few times like this, once after her first set of shots and then when I had put her on another bottle to try I figured out that was not a good idea, other than that I have a very happy baby!! She loves to play on her play mat, thanks to Star for giving it to her, and she loves for me to read and sing to her.
She use to HATE a bath which I am sure all babies in the beginning are like that but not anymore, now she loves to take a bath! I could sit here and talk about all day long :) My baby is no longer a new born though, she went from not being able to wear clothes because they were to big to barely being able to wear 0-3 months because they are to short! I hate that she is growing so fast but I am also thankful that I am able to be here to see her grow up and to be able to teach her that God always comes first and with him by her side she will grow up to be a wonderful woman, but I am glad I have awhile before that happens, lol.
Justin does so good with her too except when she starts to throw a fit because she wants her momma! I cant help it but that really makes me feel good. I never thought I would be able to enjoy having a child but I never gave up faith and I am glad I didnt because God really does listen even when you think he isnt anymore! Kelsey will be 3 months on March 11th (only 4 days from now). We go to the cardiologist on the 18th to make sure the hole in her heart hasnt gotten any bigger and to make sure it isnt causing any problems yet. It kind of scares me because I have noticed she is breathing a little harder than normal but than again that could just be me looking for something to be wrong because I am so scared there will be something there when we go to the doctor. The only thing that keeps me sane is knowing that I have been praying every night and day that God watch over and be with her and I know that he is and that he wouldnt let anything happen unless it needs too.
  Kelsey after bath time 3-7-13

Putting it in Gods hands!

We had Kelseys cardiologist appointment last Thursday to find out her results from her ultrasound. I can honestly say waiting to find out the results for your babys heart is one of the most stressful things ever. So while we were there they checked her weight and my little booger bear weighed 7lbs 8oz! I couldnt believe she had finally made it over the 7lb mark! So, Kelsey is seeing a doctor named Dr.Chin and he seems like he really knows what he is doing and we both really liked him. Kelseys ultrasound showed that she has two holes in her heart, one of them they are not worried about and say that it should close on its own, this hole is known as a PDF. The other hole is known as a PDA and its where the major two ateries are connected in a regular heart but hers is open which makes it a hole and allows the blood from both arteries to mix and then makes her hert and the arteries in her lungs to strain. Her hole is not big right now and is not bothering her so that is a good thing. Side effects of this hole is where she will start breathing so hard that she wouldnt be able to even eat, turning blue because she cannot breath. As long as she doesnt start getting any of these effects and the hole does not get any bigger they will wait until she is 4-6 months old and will go in through her leg with a cath to close the hole. If the hole does get bigger or starts to bother her they will have to do surgery before 4-6 months. The doctor said that she is breathing great on her own and she is also still eating like she is supposed to be so we are going to try to wait so that my baby girl does not have to have surgery. I can say that I am so scared but I am trying my best to keep everything together for her. It is so hard to hold everything together at times though becaue sometimes I just want to grab her, rock her, and hold her as tight as I can while crying. The good thing is I know that God is here with us and that he is keeping Kels safe. God is the one reason I am holding everything together, other than Justin that is, but knowing that I have our Father on our side watching over her every second of the day helps me in so many ways. I dont see how someone could not believe in or trust God because he does so many amazing things. I know that God test you faith sometimes but it is not to be mean or curel to you, he has to do things for a reason and that reason he only knows of but youve got to remember that he loves you and that he is always there for you to lean on and that he will carry you through every obstacle he gives you as long as you allow him too. I know it sounds like I am trying to convince myself of this but the thing is I dont have to convince myself or anyone else for that matter because I KNOW that God is here everyday because I am looking at a miracle he gave Justin and me on Dec. 11, 2012. If it wasnt for God I would not have my beautiful baby girl today. I am so thankful. Like I said, at times I want to cry and ask why Kels has a hole in her heart, I want to know why she needs to go through something like this when she has already been through so much when she was first brough into this world but then I just sit back take a breathe and remember God is here and he will not put us through anything we cannot handle.

LIFE... Well lets start with this, Kelseys been doing great and keeping me busy but I love every minute of it!! I absolutely love when she opens her mouth when I kiss her, cries just so I will pick her up and let her lay on my chest and every other cute or non cute thing she does! She is my world and I am so thankful that God sent her to us. Some people would go crazy being in the house 24/7 with a baby but I love every minute of it! We have been going to the doctor once a week for regular weight checks adn she has been doing really good until this week. When we went Monday she weighed 6LBS 9oz, she had only gained an ounce within a week.. and then Dr. Carmen told me something that I did not want to hear, she told me that it sounded like Kelseys heart was open! I started crying right off the bat not knowing exactly what this meant I was scared just by hearing them words. They ended up making an appt for me to take Kels to the hospital to get an ultrasound done of her heart and after that we had to go back to the doctor to another weight check and this time she had gained 5oz within 2 days! So now she doesnt need to go back to Dr.Lentz's office until her 2 month ck up which is in Feb. and they will also do the car seat test again and hopefully all will go good with that! They called me the next day to let me know that they got her results back from the ultrasound but could only tell me that it was serious but not life threatening, so at least I go that much until we go to the cardiologist next week (January 31st).. now I am just trying not to worry and pray that everything will be ok. I know that Gods watching over her and thats all I can ask for!

Introducing Kelsey Brook Peterson

On December 11^th I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Kelsey Brook Peterson. She weighed 5lbs 6oz. and was 17inches, with light brown hair and big blue eyes! I had to have Kels early due to the fact that it could have been dangerous to both Kelsey and me if I would have waited; I was 36 weeks pregnant when we did the c-section. Kelsey was born at 10:58 and taken to the NICU afterwards. I wasn’t supposed to be able to see her after my surgery but they rolled me in to see her before they took me to my room..seeing Kelsey for the first time made my heart whole again. I was so excited, nervous, and scared at the same time. I knew from that moment that I would love her for the rest of my life. Don’t get me wrong I loved her while in my belly but I loved her even more seeing her the first time.

On December 12^th Kelseys left lung started to leak air due to a small hole that was in her lung so they had to put a chest tube in her lung. Even though this was happening my baby girl never stopped fighting and didn’t need to be on a ventilator instead they had her on oxygen flow to help her breath just a little so that she didn’t have to work so hard to be able to do so. When the doctor came in my room I knew something was wrong just by the look on her face. After losing 2 babies you know when something is wrong and it hits you even harder. I was so scared that I was going to lose my baby girl but that reassured me that everything would be ok that Kelsey would just have to fight and be given time to heal. By Friday her chest x-rays started to look a lot better but the hole was still there.

On December 15^th I went in to see Kelsey that morning and the nurse told me that they was going to try Kelsey on her first bottle..boy did she like that bottle J They started her out on 3cc’s and would go up 3cc’s on every feeding. After that the nurse asked me if I wanted to FINALLY hold her but me being scared because she still had her chest tube in decided it wouldn’t be a good idea but she talked me into it saying that I wouldn’t hurt Kels. So at 11:38 I finally got to hold Kels while doing skin to skin contact. That was the best feeling in the world, Ive never been so happy to have drool run down my chest! I believe I called everyone in my family to let them know that I had finally got to hold her! After holding her I was discharged from the hospital and that was the hardest thing ever because I did not want to leave my baby girl by herself even though I knew that she was in good hands. Justin got there to pick me up a little later and on the way home I called to check on Kelsey and the nurse told me that they had removed her chest tube and had given Kelsey her first bath! I couldn’t wait to go back to see my baby girl. Later on that night Michelle and I went to see her and she just looked so good and was more comfortable with that chest tube out of her side!

The next couple days went by and she continued to do well. On December 17^th I had called that night to check on before going up to bed and the nurse told me to bring her car seat with me when I came up that next day and if she passed her car seat test she would be able to go home. You have no idea how great it felt to hear this news! So on December 18^th Justin and I went up there to watch a CPR video while they did the test so that we could bring her baby home for the first time… but Kelsey had failed her test. Me being so aggravated and still emotional broke down even though I knew that this didn’t mean something was wrong with her and that she would be able to try the test again the next day and if she failed they would than try it in a flatbed car seat. The nurse asked me if I wanted to stay the night with her, that they would set me up in one of their rooms there in the NICU and I could actually do the whole mom thing that night so of course I said yes, Being able to do everything for her that night and next morning made me feel so much better. She failed her test again but passed the one in the flatbed car seat, she just cannot have a paci while in the car seat. That day I brought my baby girl home!

Everything has been going well since shes been home. Kelseys first Christmas Eve and Day was amazing even though we weren’t able to go to my mommas because Diane was sick. This year will be the first year I have ever missed Christmas with my family and even though it hurt a lot to not be able to spend time with them I knew that it was for the best because I now have to think of my daughter first and make sure she stays safe. That night Kelsey got her first snow too, even though we of course could not go outside to play in it!

Being a mom has really changed my life and shes only been here for 2 weeks. I am so thankful that God finally answered my prayers, I knew he would but he had to do it at his own pace. No one will ever know how blessed Justin and I have been and how much Kelsey means to us. She is our MIRACLE baby <3

Kelsey Brook

I am now 24 weeks and 5 days. I can honestly say I am more scared right now then I have been the whole pregnancy. I am so looking forward to being 27 weeks because than I will not have to worry as much and then I can also start putting everything together for my sweet baby girl. My cervixs are still shortening and I am pretty much on bed rest now but I do not mind because I know that itll be worth it in the end. I am looking forward to holding my baby girl for the first time. :) For now here is a picture of our sweet baby girl!

Kelsey Brook

Its amazing to know that you have someone elses life growing inside of you but it can also be scary especially being since I have been able to carry two babies before but also lose them during the pregnancy. I honestly did not believe that I would ever become a mother. During the past 5 years I have wondered if maybe it was something that God just did not have planned out for me but I never lost hope. There were some times that I really wanted to just give up and say that God just wasnt listening to me but I also knew in my heart that God would let it happen when it was time too. I am now 5 months pregnant with Kels and I can say that I am scared but I am also excited. It is hard not to be excited when you have someone moving around in your belly reminding you that they are here and alive. I will continue to be scared throughout the next few months but I know that God will do what he believes is best and we are trying everything on this end to make sure that Kelsey is healthy and strong.

I went for another ultrasound last week and I just love being able to see her. She moved around ALOT but she finally let us get a good picture :) The doctors say that everything is going well right now but the next month and a half will be a crucial point for us because I have never made it past 6 1/2 months. We are hoping that the 17-P shot will help us with this and will allow me to be able to carry her at least long enough to where everything will be ok. I go next week for another ultrasound so they can check my cervixs again to make sure they are still holding up, hopefully they will be! Until next time!