Putting it in Gods hands!

We had Kelseys cardiologist appointment last Thursday to find out her results from her ultrasound. I can honestly say waiting to find out the results for your babys heart is one of the most stressful things ever. So while we were there they checked her weight and my little booger bear weighed 7lbs 8oz! I couldnt believe she had finally made it over the 7lb mark! So, Kelsey is seeing a doctor named Dr.Chin and he seems like he really knows what he is doing and we both really liked him. Kelseys ultrasound showed that she has two holes in her heart, one of them they are not worried about and say that it should close on its own, this hole is known as a PDF. The other hole is known as a PDA and its where the major two ateries are connected in a regular heart but hers is open which makes it a hole and allows the blood from both arteries to mix and then makes her hert and the arteries in her lungs to strain. Her hole is not big right now and is not bothering her so that is a good thing. Side effects of this hole is where she will start breathing so hard that she wouldnt be able to even eat, turning blue because she cannot breath. As long as she doesnt start getting any of these effects and the hole does not get any bigger they will wait until she is 4-6 months old and will go in through her leg with a cath to close the hole. If the hole does get bigger or starts to bother her they will have to do surgery before 4-6 months. The doctor said that she is breathing great on her own and she is also still eating like she is supposed to be so we are going to try to wait so that my baby girl does not have to have surgery. I can say that I am so scared but I am trying my best to keep everything together for her. It is so hard to hold everything together at times though becaue sometimes I just want to grab her, rock her, and hold her as tight as I can while crying. The good thing is I know that God is here with us and that he is keeping Kels safe. God is the one reason I am holding everything together, other than Justin that is, but knowing that I have our Father on our side watching over her every second of the day helps me in so many ways. I dont see how someone could not believe in or trust God because he does so many amazing things. I know that God test you faith sometimes but it is not to be mean or curel to you, he has to do things for a reason and that reason he only knows of but youve got to remember that he loves you and that he is always there for you to lean on and that he will carry you through every obstacle he gives you as long as you allow him too. I know it sounds like I am trying to convince myself of this but the thing is I dont have to convince myself or anyone else for that matter because I KNOW that God is here everyday because I am looking at a miracle he gave Justin and me on Dec. 11, 2012. If it wasnt for God I would not have my beautiful baby girl today. I am so thankful. Like I said, at times I want to cry and ask why Kels has a hole in her heart, I want to know why she needs to go through something like this when she has already been through so much when she was first brough into this world but then I just sit back take a breathe and remember God is here and he will not put us through anything we cannot handle.