Giving Thanks!

Giving thanks.. What is Thanksgiving about? Well read on:
A psalm, for giving thanks. Psalms 100:1-5 Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.
God says that we should be thankful for EVERYTHING, not just one thing. We should also be thankful every day not just on the day of Thanksgiving. I know that I am thankful for everything in my life, even the bad. I say that I am also thankful for the bad because God we never put anything on me that I would not be able to handle, and he also does everything for a reason. I am thankful that he gave me the chance to be able to me a mother even though my babies were taken from me earlier than I would have ever wanted. I am thankful that I was able to have 21 years with my daddy even though I would have loved to have more time with him. But once again I say that I am thankful for the time that I have been given with each person that I have lost and that I am thankful for the time that I am still able to have with the people that are still here on earth.. I honestly think that some people do not understand how thankful they should be. Such as my sister, instead of being thankful that we still have our mom here with us for us to make more memories with her she wants to be mad at her all the time. She spends most of her time mad or upset over something so small instead she should be looking through all that anger and realize that God has given us more time with her mom. It just makes me so sad and angry that she could act the way that she is acting. I do understand that Diane is hurt but I honestly believe it is time for her to grow up and realize that she is not a little girl anymore. Momma does not have to be there to hold her hand every second of the day. Like I told mom, Diane has no reason to be so upset over momma having a life now that daddy is in heaven because she does not get upset or mad at us for having our own lives. What if mom was to call Diane and tell her ok I will not have a life anymore if you stop having one too… nope that would not work and Diane should not want mom to not have a life anymore. Like I said before Diane needs to realize how lucky, blessed and thankful she should be. She has a wonderful daddy who is no longer here but is watching over her every day, a beautiful wonderful momma who loves her more than life its self, a brother and sister who also love her more than anything in this world, and most of all 2 beautiful, smart, healthy children. .. The point to all this is Diane didn’t come to thanksgiving dinner last night. That was the first time that our family has not been together for a holiday… other than daddy not being able to be there for the last 3 years. Mom was really upset and it just made me sooooo darn mad at Diane! And another thing my dads mom, grandma, was down and she was wanting to see Diane and the kids and plus it just gave my dads family another thing to talk about, being since we have always been the talk of the family! I am sorry for venting, I know that it is thanksgiving and I promise I am very thankful for everything in my life, but I am also upset because of all this.. Another thing we went to see Justins Granny today, she is not doing well at all. She can not walk anymore, can barely talk and all she is doing is sleeping. I know that she has lived a long life, 94 years, but that does not make it any easier. She did tell us that she loved us and gave us all a big ole hug, and she said Sashas name which made Sas break down. I am thankful to this woman more then anyone will ever know.. she has let me live in her house for almost 7 yrs. Even more she met me. I love this woman for more than just that though, she is a great woman who has worked hard to have a great life. I am thankful that God is letting her be able to be at home surround by family instead of being in the hospital because that is the only thing she has asked Tara (justins sister) for. She does not want to be in a hospital she wants to be at home when she joins our heavenly father.
Anyways, always remember your blessings because they are there everyday. Thank you God for allowing me to have so many wonderful blessings, even the bad ones. I love you very

Cancer... such an awful word!

I absolutely hate CANCER! When hearing that one word, Cancer, it can consume your whole life in just one second! There is NO good cancer, they are all bad! I believe that God does everything for a reason but I just cannot understand the reason of cancer.. I know that everyone who gets cancer does not die from it and that they can end up having a long life after they go in remission but knowing that there is a chance of the cancer coming back will always be there in their mind. It is something that you cannot escape. I have been reading for the last 8 months about a little girl who has cancer, she was 4 when they found out and it now 5. She just finished her last round of chemo not long ago and seems to be doing good but is not yet in remission. While reading about her cancer in her mom’s blog I have come to love a little girl that I do not even know and also loving another little girl named Lanie, who they met at St.Jude. I find myself waking up in the mornings reaching for my phone getting on Katie’s blog site to see if she has posted anything new about her sweet angel or the other kids that she talks about that have cancer. This morning I got up went to eat breakfast with Justin, my father in law and brother in law while waiting for time for Justin to go to court. After eating we dropped Justin off to go to court and while sitting there waiting for him to get back I go on Katie’s blog… and instantly started crying… The little girl Lanie who had become a part of their family within the last 8 months pasted away because of that stupid word CANCER. I know that she is no longer in pain and is now in heaven with our heavenly father but that does not make it any easier for her family or friends or even people like me. You see last week we found out that Justin’s granny (Mrs. Tommy) has stomach cancer. She is 94, and yes has had a wonderful long life but that does not make it any better, being that age and going through cancer before she does not want to take any treatment because when she did chemo last time years ago she felt like she was going to die and always said that she will never go through that again no matter the age or chances. She also cannot have surgery because the last time she had surgery the doctor told her that she will never be able to go through something like that again because she would more than likely not make it!
I have not known granny for that long, only 6 years but have only spent so much time with her. Even though I have only known her for a short while I have become to love her like she was my own granny. She is a very caring, hardworking, loving mother and grandmother. It is just messed up because dang it she just moved back to TN to be around all her family and now this is happening. They do not give her more than a week because she is in bad shape and has not eaten anything in days. It’s awful because to be her age she has always been healthier than anyone I know because she takes care of herself, and now this has happened to such a sweet person. Justin is taking this badly because he has always been so close with his grandmother.
So this is why I absolutely hate cancer! Cancer consumes our lives and takes away the people we love. Like I said before there are people who end up beating the odds and kicking cancers ass but there are a lot that are not able to do so. I know that everyone dies of something, that no one is put on this earth so stay here forever but gosh it hurts so bad when you lose someone that you love and care about.
Well Thanksgiving is coming up next week and even though all of this is happening, I am more than thankful to be able to be with my family, Justins family and our friends. I am thankful for the memories that we are able to make because in the end that is the one thing that we can expect to never leave us. I am also going to the Reba concert this weekend which I am very excited about! I will post more later on but for now I am fixing to get off here.