Rain, tornado, and MEMORIAL weekend!!

Well we survived the crazy weather last night! My thoughts and prayers go out to the ones who had damage or lost a loved one. There are so many people who have gotten hurt, lost everything or lost a loved one within the last 2 months due to all this crazy weather. My heart goes out to them. We are now in a record breaking of 1,151 tornadoes and 482 deaths ( this was given on Monday 5-23) this was before they found more bodies due to the Joplin,MO tornadoe. The Miss. river is now 1 inch under flood stage and I am hoping that the people that have been able to go back to their house well I dont know what I am hoping for because I am sure they lost everything and I just hope they are able to get the help they need. I could not imagine going through something that they have been going through. I believe that I would literally lose my mind and I am sure that some of them prolly has.

Another note... We get our new puppy tomorrow. I am still not knowing how I wanna feel about this. I am excited, scared and upset all that once. It feels weird feeling all this over a puppy. Any other time I would be so excited because I have been wanting a new puppy but since Shyenne has died I just do know how to feel about all this. Sky is still whining and missing her momma which is still breaking my heart. I am scared that she will think we are babying the pup to much ( and yes I really do feel this way). I told Justin that we will have to show Sky A LOT more attention when we get this pup because I do not want her to get any more depressed then she already is!

On a HAPPY :) not Memorial weekend!! YAY! That means RIVER BOUND! We will not be able to camp out at Mcgees because all the rain has washed out the road and we have not had the time to be able to go fix them but we are still going to be on the river. That just means going an hour away everyday to put in but itll be so worth it! I am so glad that its going to be pretty this weekend and NOT raining!! This will actually be the 1st year since Justin and I have been together that we will not be camping out :( thats kinda sad because its like breaking our tradition but itll be ok, least we are still together! Well thats it for now! I have decided to wait on the pictures until after this weekend so I can download them all at one time!

So much to do

Awe I got so much to do and say. Ok first off watchig my niece receive an award for always smiling, being a great friend and happy made for an awesome day! I was so proud of my babygirl! I have so many pictures that i've got to post and promise I will tomorrow when im on the computer since im doing this off of my droid. There's so much I wanna say about Brianna that I don't know where to start. She was the first one to make me an aunt and I loved her from the time I found out her mommma was pregnant. Ill never forget throwing her very first bday party bc at the time diane was struggling. Ill always remember her staying with me and her falling to sleep in my arms. She was and still is very precious to me. I hope when she gets older that she wil not only consider me her aunt but also someone she can talk to about anything & everything!

*Where does the time go?

I always wonder where does the time go? It flies by waaaay to fast! My brothers oldest son turned 4 today. We had him a little family party. Im telling you kids seem to get older quicker these days then I did when I was that age. I have my one & only nieces 1st grade ceremony tomorrow. I can't believe she will be in second grade next year & her brother Dale Jr will be in kindergarten! The are growing up on me and I don't know whether to smile or cry but I believe ill do BOTH! ;) They have each touched my heart in away that no one ever has or could. I thank God for each day he gives me with them! Will post pictures of the party & ceremony tomorrow!

Time with the girls and the weekend

Bon Jovi- awe well I really had a great time with all the girls BUT he didn’t sing any of his old songs except 5.. I mean dang come on now. I had never heard any of his new songs lol. He is a great performer I mean awesome. But the most fun I had out of the time was hanging with Allison, Aunt Peggy and Regina! We went to Bahama Breeze in the beginning before the concert, which I had never been, cost some money if you eat big things but worth it! And the drinks are well stout and worth the money  We’ve decided we are going to do other girl concerts because its so much fun not to have a man sitting there whining and complaining lol , so why not just to a girls night out? Sounds great to me! Had a great weekend. Went shopping with the bestie (Michelle), had lunch and our movie date. We watched “Water for Elephants” it was a great movie, but come on when does Reese Witherspoon not have a great movie. It had a true life meaning to it which made it even better. I really enjoyed it. Anyway, I wished I would have been able to have made it to Lucy’s 5k walk. I know that it was for a VERY GREAT cause but I learned about it too late and was not able to sign up before the deadline. I don’t know if any of you know about “Lucy Krull” but she is a 5 year old girl who is fighting the fight of her life and let me say she is one strong mean fighter. She is fighting cancer and has been since February. There’s a post from her mom’s blog that I have been wanting to put on here so I will try to do that very soon. I have so much I want to do to my blog and not enough time. I have got to learn to manage my time a little better. Well that’s about it for right now! Stay tuned to my crazy life!!

Truth is the TRUTH

So it seems that some of my family members are “upset” over my blog. Look I told you from the start that I was not saying any of this to hurt anyone. I was just sick of people talking crap about MY MOM! If it was turned the other way around you would feel the same. You say that you hurt everyday over my dad. Well do you not think that we hurt every day? We are the ones who lived with him. We were his FAMILY (kids and wife). We wen t through all the bullshit together not any of yall were there unless you needed something. And half of yall talked about our family, including my dad, all the time not caring who you hurt. I am sorry that the truth seems to be hurting yall but truth is the truth!

Stress=LIFE

People tend to grip about all the stress in their life, thinking that they are the only ones. Well I have news your not! Everyone has stress because that's apart of life! Yea some people can have more stress then others but you need to realize some of the stress you put on yourself! Being depressed is another thing. I know that losing someone that is important in your life can make you depressed and not wanna be here anymore. I've lost two babies a daddy and Shyenne that was my baby and I've been depressed but guess what I picked myself bk up dusted off and kept my head held high. Because when we are brought in this world we are not promised tomorrow! God puts us here for the time he wants us here not for the time you want to be here or someone else to be here. The thing you gotta remember is if you live by God you will be reunited when its your time.

On another note SCHOOL - Blah I now remember why I hated school. I always made good grades but I believe the reason I did was bc I had my mom and dad pushing me to make them grades.. Well I need that motivation again bc im scared that without it im going to fail. I keep telling myself that my motivation is for my babies and daddy to show them that I can and will succeed but that's easier said then done.

Awe Bon Jovi how i've waited awhile to see you! So glad the concert day has finally come! Well tomorrow that is! Ill be sure to post pictures! Gotta go cook for the hubby and tan! May I say that even though I have stress in my life I LOVE my life!! And wouldn't change anything about it!

Not much time

So my phones about to go dead I don't have much time lol. It's been a busy week
I've been doing a year or more worth of scrapbooking & its been taking most of my time. I know one thing I will never go that long with out doing something I've always enjoyed and loved. I really don't know why I haven't been doing it to begin with, im guessing lazy?

On another note. Justin found us a chocolate lab puppy that we will be getting next week. Im not sure about my feelings on this situation right now. I mean a puppy, I love puppies, but on another thought im not sure I am ready but don't have the heart to tell Justin bc he is really wanting her. He has talked about getting another dog before but changed his mind but since losing Shyenne he is set on having another lab. Don't get me wrong he is NOT trying to replace Shyenne bc let's face it there will NEVER be another Shyenne in this world but I believe hes trying to fill the void in his heart. He may also think he's doing this for me bc he thinks it'll help.me feel better. I can understand his way of thinking but truth is its not going to make me feel better and I juss hope I don't resent the puppy. Surely not right? Another thing what's up with a man wanting to name a dog the same name of the one they just lost? Yea he's wanting to do that & my answer is HELL NO! So now he's thinking Shy *which was my name for Shyenne so no* or Enne (pronounced ann) short for Shyenne im ok with that but not really feeling it so we will see when we actually get her and see her personality. Well that's it.. turned out to be a longer post then I thought! Night!

What a day!

Well today has been one of those days where I just wanna crawl in a hole and hide for awhile. I have been laying around all day telling myself I need to get up.... so finaly I am up! Justin called not long ago to tell me he found another choc. lab. I dont know how to tell him I do not want one. I mean I would love to have another pup but I just do not think I am ready. There will never be a dog that will be able to replace my sweet Shyenne and I know he's not trying to replace her but I dont knw how to feel about it. We wont get her for a few weeks so I am hoping by then Ill be up for it.

Just venting!

Umm... seems like since I have told the truth about how I feel about the way my daddys family treats my momma some people are mad. Well look I never meant to write what I did just so that I could hurt your feeling or make you mad. I love each and everyone of you but come on whos side do you think I am going to be on? Yours or my mommas? Umm thats an easy answer!

Ive been following Kate Krulls blog for awhile now (since Lucy became sick). I do not personally know them but it breaks my heart that their 5 yr. old daughter has cancer. Seems that little Lucy is one touch little girl though. She is fighting with everything she has inside her and I believe God is putting his healing hands on this little sweet angel. I have faith that he will make her better. God puts us through things that we never will understand, only he does, but he does not do this to hurt us he does it a reason that we yet know. The one thing you have to always remember is that God is always here with you watching, loving and taking care of each an every one of us! I am proud to say that I am Gods child.

Today(5-13) has been a rough day. I went to sleep waking up all through the night looking for Shyenne to make sure she was ok just to remember she is no longer here. I wake up wanting to hold and play with her, brush her hair and rub her big ol' belly. I love my baby and always will. It was a bad day that turned out to be a decent night though. Thanks to Justin who I am thankful enough to share a life with and to great friends that are always here for me. I am very lucky to have wonderful people in my life.

* In Memory Of Shyenne

*In Memory Of Shyenne

This picture is of her doing the one thing that she loved to do. And that would be hunting! I hate that she will not be able to do anymore but at least I know that she is no longer in pain and is waiting for us.

*I thank God upon ever remembrance of you-Phil.1:3

Yesterday was  one of the hardest days ever. I knew last night well early in the morning that something was wrong with her. She would try to get up and then fall back down or if she was able to get up she would wobble where ever she walked to. Therefore, Justin and I had decided we was taking her back to the vet. I had to wait for him to get off work because I could not pick her up on my own and carry her in and out. Plus our vet Jerry was not going to be there until about 1:30. She had been drinking water and moving around all morning, I was thinking she was just restless. I started to smell something and noticed that she was pooping. Which was a great thing because remember I gave her the enema last night. She wasn’t up pooping she was still laying down. Well the lady at the vets office called to check in on her and told her that she was pooping every where and she asked if it was solid or runny. Well of course if just had to be runny. Before this she was going to tell me just to keep Shy home for the day that she was weak from not eating the last two days because she hadn’t been able to poop. And since she was pooping she would get to feeling better but since it was runny she wanted us to go ahead and bring her in just to get checked out, which I was down for because it would make me feel more comfortable. OK so not even 10 mins after that I had cleaned her up got ready and Justin pulled up. I am telling you I had just cleaned her up and checked on her not even 5 mins before Justin got there. Well when he got here I told him I was going to get something to put down in the truck so she wouldn’t poop in my seat and for him to get her ready… Well he walks in the bathroom (that’s where she went to lay down when she started pooping.. smart) and he looks at her and says shalane she DEAD! I thought he was trying to be funny which wouldn’t have been funny at all. So, me being since I had just checked on her and she was FINE (breathing and alive) tells him to stop messing around and come on… Then I hear him crying. I knew then he wasn’t messing around at all. This has been the toughest for both of us. Shyenne was our baby, best friend and she protected me anytime she thought I was in harm. We will never be able to replace her and yet will never try either. I know that she died knowing that both her momma and daddy loved her very much. I tried everything that I possibly could I wish that I could have done more but I also know that God was ready to take her to heaven. I know that she will be there waiting for us when we arrive.