Christmas Time!

The first 2 years of Justin and I being together we put up a Christmas tree and really enjoyed doing so, but the next year I had lost both my babies and was not in the “mood” and then the following year I had lost my daddy and finally decided there was no point in putting up a tree. I mean I was not having anyone come to my house for dinner, parties and honestly trees should be something you are excited to do and I just was not excited because my babies were not here to be able to enjoy decorating the tree with me. But this year something changed, I decided I wanted to put a tree up but not at my house.. I wanted to go to my mommas to put up the tree and start back our family tradition. I had always helped mom and dad put up the tree, even though I hated taking it down because it was so much work lol.

I am more than glad that I decided to start this family tradition once again but once we started putting the tree up ( it was me, momma, the kids-all 4 and Carolyn) I noticed that none of the ornaments were ours, they were all Carolyns, I did not mind at first because I just figured we hadn’t gotten ours out yet but then mom asked were hers were and Carolyn said that she did not have any.. I thought this was kinda weird, I am guessing over all the years of having all the same ones they were messed up an mom and dad threw them away or mom did the year before last.. I don’t know but it kinda made me upset because our tree really isn’t our tree. (don’t get me wrong I am more than happy to be able to put Carolyns on there too but I would just like to have some of our own on there also) So I have decided to start a new tradition, I am going shopping with mom, Diane, Carolyn and Megan Thursday for our “daughter/mother” shopping trip and I am going to buy some paint markers and glitter to make ornaments with our names on them for next year but am going to give them to everyone on Christmas day. And then next year we can make another ornament or buy whichever is best so that we will have our own ornaments for the tree! I hate that we will not have any “old” ones that we have memories of with daddy but we can make daddy a new one every year just like he is still here with us to celebrate. Also, grandma had brought a tree down on Thanksgiving day to put on daddys grave with Dale ornaments but the ornaments fell off so momma brought all of them for the kids to put on the tree at the house, so that will be this years memories! And then next year the grandkids will be able to put them on again every year along with the new ones for daddy.

Anyways, even with all that I still enjoyed my time. We were not expecting the kids but I believe for some reason God allowed them to be able to be there to help us because it made it that much better. Oh an yes, this was Gabbys first Christmas tree. I am not going to point out any names, but I do have a feeling that someone was not happy that my baby was there and may believe that I should not bring her with me to mommas because of all the kids but that person and anyone else who seems to feel this way well they really can get over it because I am not lucky enough to have my two children here with me but I am lucky enough to be able to have my baby girl, Gabby, there with me and she will continue to be there with us! I know that some do not understand the meaning of her to Justin & I, and I am sure that they will never understand this but she is a part of our family. And honestly I believe she behaves a little better than the kids lol. I know that she can get a little excited but she’s like any other dog or child for that matter. The way I see it, if people cannot handle her being there or do not want her to be there well than she will not be there but neither will Justin & I! They’ll have to learn to deal with it or not because to me I just do not care anymore. I am trying my best to be reasonable about this but sometimes it really is hard because it’s like they are disrespecting me by not allowing her in their life. I guess some people just do not have the love for animals like I do because to me even though she is not “human” to them she is and always will be considered “human” & also my daughter! Awe ok ok, so I believe that I am venting a little too much, ha-ha! All in all I believe this will be my best Christmas (well holiday times) since we have lost our babies, daddy and other loved ones. Shall we say I am more in the “spirit” mood? J

P.S.- So I was catching up on Kate Krulls blog so here’s the update: Lucy of course is still shining like the little star she is! She is growing stronger every day and getting a little more active with walking every day. Lucy got her make a wish the other day from the Make A Wish Foundation, she asked to go to Disney world, so therefore they left this week to go J Her wish came true just in time for Christmas, I think this is kind of a good sign from God, Kate is going to reveal Lucys results (im guessing of the recent scans) when they get back home & settled. So pray pray pray!!!!

Oh an we got our first SNOW in NOVEMBER!!! And they are calling for more snow today, not much but some.